The wanting?
The yearning?
The sadness and despair?
To have to live through life like all you are is a thing, not a being?
All I ever wanted was to understand.
To understand life and why we suffer.
Why we feel. Why people hurt. Why people Love.
All I ever wanted was to be loved.
But must I be hurt to love?
Must love come with pain?
Can't it be pure and gentle without pain?
Can't anything be simple anymore?
Why must everything become complected?
Can anyone even explain love?
A feeling? A sensation that goes through the body?
But can't this Love be confused with Lust?
To be depressed and miserable.
Everyone feels it.
But what if you don't know how you feel?
What if you can't understand it?
Can't explain it.
Everyone wants the feeling to be wanted.
Is this not way people pair up?
To be with one another.
To be happy.
Everyone wants to be happy.
But then isn't that also when greed comes along.
Destroys what we make.
Consumes us with lies and paranoia.
Why is it so difficult for something to just stay the same?
Because the world moves.
Time doesn't stays still.
And everyone changes.
Everyone learns something new.
To learn is to change.
When you learn you expand your options.
This is natural since you know more.
But what's the point?
We all die in the end anyways.
To achieve something maybe. To complete your goal?
Perhaps, that would explain why people try.
Try to live, love, and survive.
But me.
I'm different.
I don't see a point.
I do try but I don't really want to.
To end it all.
Become one with nature.
Be free from all others.
Then, Only then, Will I become happy.
The feeling everyone wants.
I can only achieve it when I have become free from these chains.
These chains I call Life....
[One day I shall achieve it. Freedom.]
