New Start.

I have a new boyfriend.

He's the best in my mind. (:

He's sweet, nice, funny, cute, and unique!

His name is Jacob Epp. ♥

I'm hoping things will go well between us, and maybe even fall in love.
He was a fag liar that only wanted to screw me.
LAME!!!!!!!!! 
Good thing I'm not stupid. Sex isn't something I do.....

Life for me is going good so far.

I haven't been as sad.

But I have been having trouble sleeping...

I get nightmares late at night and wake up every 5 mins...

Hopefully this is just temporary.

But other then that life is well. (:

I never have been this happy before.

I hope things stay like this for a long while!

Oh and  happy holidays to everyone! 

Hope every one has a good day! :D

[Life's good, When you're happy!]

Totally!

From now on I'm Tyler! :D

The awesomest person ever!!!! lol

Also tall! Which makes him epically awesome! 

Lol I'm amazed I don't stalk this guy. Haha

So like yeah. My friend Tyler and me switched places.

I'm him and he's me.

It's awesome to me. Haha But that's only cause I get to be tall and awesome now.

Too bad for him though.

Oh well! :P

If you're wondering who Tyler is he's my awesome friend I meet on myyearbook. Lol

Weird how I met him on the internet.

He might be moving to Cincinnati soon though. :[

I'll miss him lots! >.<

Oh and If you didn't notice....

I totally like the guy!

Oh yeah and I have no internet. Haha

Love Life. Live Free!

[Peace out!]

Oh well....

I got sad today for no reason.

Weird I know, but that's me...

I feel like no one understands me but Gabie and Kenny.

I'm so happy I meet them. They both makes me happier.

But everyone else ignores me or acts like me and that just makes things worst.

Oh well right? I just have to handle it and ignore them bad.

But I can't I am not that kinda person.

Sometimes I wish I could just disappear, But I don't because I'm to weak.

I'm a very worthless person.....

I have been having a hard time with my honors English project.

It's a drawing thing so it should be easy for me but medieval times is not my thing.

I am having a real hard time and my partner isn't helping out.

Not because he's mean but because I can't find the courage to talk to him.

See how useless I am...Can't even talk to my own partner.

I think the problem is that I like him.

But like always he doesn't like me. But this is my opinion not like I really know.

No one ever likes me anyways....

I wonder what I am even good at.

Nothing I guess....Oh well.

I wonder why life is starting to get so hard for me.

I thought everything would be easier sooner or later.

But I thought wrong.

It's okay though,  need a wake up call.

I can't live in a world that I think "one day Esme you will be happy".

I know that day will never come....

I am that worthless.

How sad I sound like a depressing person...

How stupid to think in such a way.

I guess I am just thinking the truth.

Life isn't a happy place anyways.

[I wish I could have lived in my wonder land just a little while longer.....]

Bad Luck Maybe?...

Well today my English partner told me he might be moving...well will be moving after his birthday.

Bad luck right?!

I was starting to like the guy too...

He's really cool and everything! Even tall!!!

Too bad he won't be around that long....

Well I wish him the best!

I have been really happy lately.

Which is weird because of what happened with that Norwegian guy.

Maybe I really didn't like him and just felt jealous? Or maybe it's because I like the Swedish guy?!

I don't know but either way that Swedish guy is pretty cute and smart! Not to mention Awesome!

Wish guys like that would live close to me.

Wow I am such a girl.... I always end up talking about guys....

I guess it's meant to be?

Well happier me is listening to sad music.

Weird I know.

But Hey! I love pierce the veil and I don't care if that Norwegian guy doesn't!

He's lame anyways....

Oh well. Other things are more important then him. [:

You're that person that I imaginatively kill every day. [:

Given Up

I think it's about time i give up on falling in love!
Life isn't only about love after all.
But one day i believe I will fall in love.
And that day I truly will be happy....
But for now I am so tired of showing my feelings to a person I care for and have those feelings for.
Maybe it's better off not being shown?
I don't know and I really don't want to know anymore...

Well school's going well.

I talk to more people and that guy from english class isn't such a bad partner.

He is pretty cute. Hope he doesn't find out I think that.

well if he does oh well right?

But it would be pretty awkward to talk to him....

I don't want to think about stuff like that....

I hate that I always end up thinking about that...

Well my friend Lars that lives in Norway kindly told me about how he had his first kiss today.

Wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't like him so much.

Stupid right? To like someone from another country.

I guess I'm just a stupid useless girl...

How silly of me.

I really hate you Lars....I'm so sorry...

I really need to stop being so jealous!

I just want to fade away into the sky under the sea. - PIERCE THE VEIL

Started school

First day of school sucked....
I didn't know anyone and was so scared to talk to anyone.
I got lost more then 5 times!
I really hate when I go to new schools... I just want to stay in a school longer then 1 year.

The kids at my new school aren't the nicest.

Most of them don't even notice me.

I mean I don't really mind it. Just wish they didn't act so mean.

Im just like every other person after all.....Well kinda.

So far I don't have many friends. The only people that talk to me are the Hispanics.

They are nicer then what I expected. 

I'm glad that at least someone will talk to me.

Hopefully I get more friends soon. And good friends not those mean stupid ones.

Yesterday at school I had a really hard time controlling my emotions.

I had such a hard urge to cry but I didn't want to cry in front of people....

I guess it was because someone threw something at me during lunch and 12th period....

I hated when people are such morans and think that stuff like that is funny.

I'm emotionally unstable and have bipolar depression so when stuff like that happens I cry and get angry.

Its a problem I have.

And the fact that I have human phobia doesn't help....

I really need to get over that fear.

It even affects how I do my work at school.

In honors english I was too scared to talk to my partner about our assignment.....

He probably thinks I'm stupid or useless now....

Oh well I guess.... the truth had to be found out sooner or later....

I wish I wasn't so worthless and stupid sometimes.....

I really hate who and how I am....

But this is me.... Why should I change for other people!

It's not fair that they should even think about changing me!

If they don't like me then I don't care.... I don't need them as friends anyways....

Why can't people accept how others are.... No one is perfect after all....

 

Random Walking!

Well I need to get over my Sociophobia!

So I will be randomly walking the streets....

That sounds weird to me.

At least it will help me get over my fear of society!

On other news I might get a new skateboard this year!

Hopefully I do. I'm hoping to get a Zero.

It looks so awesome! I can't wait to get it!

I hope I get to learn new tricks too.

I'm hoping I get a job soon.

I need one to buy my own stuff....

I'm tired of having to ask for someone to buy me something!

Wonder where I should work at...I'll also need transportation.

Life is so complex!

A Love Like This....Will Never Truly Die...

Schools Coming soon....

Well I haven't been writing lately because my motivation to write has left....

I still get some motivation here and there but my laziness gets the best of me.

Oh well it doesn't really matter if I have motivation or not...

I guess I just stopped doing things because I just don't want to waste the effort to do them.

I am a very selfish person I guess...

I have been reading a lot of manga lately though!

I find the romance ones very interesting!!

But that's the only thing that I would actually get on this computer for!

That and to talk to this one guy....and also my friends of course!.

School is going to start soon and I don't think I'm quite don with summer.

Well I guess I'll just have to deal with it and just go to school.

Might have to ignore anyone that bothers me in anyway...

Well hope it's a fun year!

[Will be a sophomore]

Life keeps moving even if you don't! [:

 

Blank

I havent been able to have much creativity lately..

that makes esme sad ]:

and i have been grumpy too >.>

not such a good combo

I have been eating alot of candy which i will stop!

no more candy for me!

and I cant remember the taste of a cookie....

is that bad?

oh well life keeps going!

I wonder what it would be like to live in a different country maybe one day ill know!

hehe Im a dreamer by heart [:

[have a happy day]

  

Bored....

I haven't been on much....

mostly because the computer already bores me more then anything!

Weird i know...

Well I got a cell phone now and really only use it to text.

[I text one person 24/7!♥]

Im doing good in school.

Very happy with my life.

And have the best boyfriend ever!

I really love him! <3

[It totally didn't work out!]

I really want some candy though....

I have been craving food for a long time now.

I must be turning fat.

Hm....well i guess i might as well be happy with what i get! :D

[till next time!]